Saturday, January 24, 2015

No Human ATM

I recently ended a relationship that only began last week.  She approached me and complimented me on my height and asked for my phone number.  We began texting the next day.  Two days later we got together.  I needed a ride and she told me she needed to go to the pharmacy.  In my head I calculated the expense of a taxi vs the cost of paying for her medicine.  I greatly underestimated the cost of prescription drugs.

Turns out I paid about 100 dollars which thankfully I was able to afford.  After we drove around town and before she dropped me off, I filled her car up with gas.  This set a bad precident.  She saw me as nothing more than some with raging hormones and a big fat wallet.

The very next day she contacted me and she asked me to send her some money to fix her car.  Now I admit her car did need some repairs.  It needed a new window, a tune up, and repairs to the power steering.  I foolishly told her over time I would help her fix her car.  Over the next week she never once contacted me just to say hello, it was always about money.  

It came to a head last night when I was in the Seattle Washington area and I had just laid down to rest after a hard day of work.  She told me she was stranded at Wal-Mart as she was out of gas.  She had drove there to use their money transfer service.  I was to get out of bed, go find a Wal-Mart, and send her money and I was to do this right now.  It had been five days and she was tired of waiting for me to send her money.  

I told her I was going back to bed.  I told her when I promised to fix her car, I would have to wait until I got paid, once I got paid I would begin fixing her car on my schedule, not hers.  I also told her the method I would send the money to her and it was not through some money transfer service that I would have to pay a fee for.  She had some blank checks that I would put money on that she could cash at her bank.  

Irregardless, she grew impatient, didn't follow instructions, and was flat out demanding, and had no respect for my need to get some rest.  I didn't tell her to go to Wal-Mart and run out of gas.  As soon as I told her no, she first began to cry.  I then told her I was calling it quits, the relationship was over.  The tears was quickly replaced with anger.  

The mistakes she made was these.  First, she started asking for money.  Money is the quickest way to kill any relationship.  Second, being too demanding.  I don't do ultimatums, far too often I call the bluff.  Those two relationship killers will most likely apply to most people.

Personally applicable only to me are a few things that she did that got on my nerves.  When I asked her to come see me, I asked if she owned a dress.  When we met, she was wearing a sweater and jeans.  Nothing is more ladylike than a nice long dress.  Sure the girl in the cut off shorts and crop top may get all the attention, most men will take the lady in the dress home to meet mom and dad.  She told me she would be wearing a dress, but instead showed up wearing the same clothes she was wearing yesterday.  Another annoyance is how messy her car was.  We never went to her bedroom but I can guess on how it looked based on how messy the inside of her car was.  Someone with a messy car doesn't appreciate it, and sure enough after some digging I learned that her car was given to her by a family member.  Cleanliness is a skill and if you were to ask around many men and women would value a partner who knows how to cook and clean.

In case Brittany ever reads this or anyone like her, here is my advice.  Just because someone you are dating has money does not entitle you to it.  They may decide on their own to help out and if they do, be sure to reward them.  No partner is too perfect that they can not be replaced.  In fact it is preferable to be single than in a bad relationship.  If someone does agree to help you out financially, the proper response is thank you, not to place demands on how that help is to be given.