Sunday, May 31, 2015

What is controversial about Submissive Wives?

Hollywood has refused to accept the market draw of catering to conservatives and Christians, almost without exception any movie that caters to this crowd is a sure win at the box office.  Cable television on the other hand has accepted this and embraced it.  Think Duck Dynasty and the Duggars.  Even when online petitions have sought to remove these families from television the TV show lives on.  Even with the recent scandal involving Josh Duggar and his sisters, I predict advertisers would still line up to put the next season on the air.  They even have a spin off show featuring Pastor Bates and his 20 children

The latest show to cater to the Christian right is a TV special called "Submissive Wives" or Submissive Wives guide to marriage."  You can hear the misogynists drool and the feminists moan as each form opinions on the show without having actually seen it.  Unlike mysogynists and feminists those who believe in equal rights for men and women realize that some times women chose to submit.

This is not submission in the BDSM sense nor submission as it was portrayed in 50 shades of Grey, rather this is women who CHOSE to put the needs of their man first.  There is an old saying down in the south, "If mama ain't happy, then nobody is happy."  While that is true, it is equally true that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.  

Some men can only be truly fulfilled when they are providing for their families and some women take joy in pleasing others, not just sexually, but sometimes all it takes to express love is a shoulder rub.  Some love is expressed verbally, others express love by doing.  It is this second type of love that this show celebrates. Men who chose to be the sole provider and women who chose to stay at home taking care of her family.

Before you blast the show over social media, take some time to watch it.  One of the most important things said on the show was a discussion on leadership between two men.  "Be the kind of man you wife will want to submit to."  It is not about ruling the house with an iron fist, while that may invoke fear and obedience, it will NOT bring about true submission.  With fear comes a desire for escape, with true submission the submissive is happy.  

Again this is not just about sex, sex is a very small part of this equation as it is with every relationship.  One is happy being the leader, the other is happy being the follower.  So to the mysoganysts this is not your fantasy, like the conversation on the golf course, you have to be the man your wife will want to follow.  To the opposite end of the spectrum, the feminists, this is not your nightmare, it is simply a very common traditional marriage.  Then again it probably is a feminist nightmare.

I have always been curious with the left's demand for freedom of choice, but when someone chooses traditional values they are wrong.  Traditional values are traditional because they work, if they didn't people would stop using them and we would have a new tradition.  Just as the Right has to be open to new ideas, the Left needs to accept that sometimes people chose tradition.