A Longing for Jesus

For those who don't know I was raised in a non religious home and it wasn't until my teen years that I began to get involved with church.  I stayed with the faith through most of my adult life.  One of the biggest things I miss about my time as a Christian was the belief that I was serving God and I made an effort to bring glory to God in everything I do.

I had a falling out with my church a few years ago when a friend of mine was injured while doing volunteer work for them.  Instead of behaving like I felt they should, they responded to his injuries the way a business would and that did not sit well with me.  So I quit going to church.  Of course you can't blame the actions of one single church and lay it at the footsteps of the whole faith, I just never quite got over it and did not seek out a new house of worship.

Two years later I became friends with a few atheists and began to take a look into the things I believed.  It was an intense traumatic experience for me as my faith was a central core of who I was.  Eventually I came out as an atheist.  I no longer believed in God.  About a year after that a bunch of people were posting their deconversion stories and I uploaded mine.  It was 54 minutes and it was very in depth.  I later took the video down as I did not want my video to be responsible for anyone else's separation from God.

In the years that followed I made several new friends as sadly most of my old Christian friends no longer came around.  I found organizations to help out such as Doctors Without Borders and for a while life was good.  However, I have been feeling as of late that there is a Christ centered hole in me.  There is something missing and I am confused on how to fill it.

Can I go back?  Returning to my Christian faith would be difficult for me as I feel I know too much.  I don't think I could sit through a lesson on Noah and the Ark, or Jonah, or any of the other acts of miracles from the Bible.  I don't think going to a liberal church, where they view things like creation as a parable, would work for me.  If I were to go I would have to go all in.  I don't know how to do that.

Part of me wants to believe in God and the Bible again, but I truly don't know how I could.  I don't know what the answers are.

An Open Letter To Laci Green

For those who are not familiar with my friend LaciGreen let me tell you a little bit about her. She was raised in a Mormon household but started YouTube on the GoGreen18 channel as a way of expressing herself. Originally her videos were about her coming out of her religion and discussing her views on atheism. There is a huge atheist community on YouTube as many atheists live in areas dominated by one religion or another. On YouTube they can come together and find common ground and form friendships.

Below is a link to her channels.



Eventually she wanted to take her videos in a different direction and began posting on the LaciGreen channel. Instead of discussing atheism she began to discuss what she calls Sex Plus, or in other words sex education without the shame.

Helping Brett Keane with his image?

Almost everyday I search YouTube for my name to see if any new videos are made. Lo and behold Brett Keane made one to me, basically a follow up from our BlogTV discussion. I can honestly say that Brett Keane is a mystery to me. It is either he completely does not understand why so many people don't like him, or that he chooses to ignore those reasons. Irregardless here is his video and my response