Saturday, September 27, 2014

Why did I start dating, and why did I stop?

For the longest time I was involved in a long distance relationship.  Never a good idea.  I had some people try and tell me a few things but ultimately I stayed.  I didn't have it in me to end a relationship.  I don't know why I became that way but essentially I did not want to cause another pain, so I developed a pattern where I would not end a relationship no matter how hard it was.

I think much of it comes from down to the pain involved in ending a relationship with otherwise a great lady back in Phoenix.  This was 2006 as best I can recall.  She was 10 years older that me but was really giving and had a great thing going.  The problem was that she was bad with money.  As such I frequently became a human ATM for her.  Once or twice I have no problem, but eventually every other call from her was about money.  Finally I told her it was over and the tears came full blast.  I did not want to relive that and I think that is much of the source about not wanting to end a relationship.

Then a few years later I began a relationship with a lady through the internet.  In this time I have seen her three times.  However it was the third time that I knew I was wasting my time.  I was aware that she had an ex-husband but what ex wife keeps their wedding photo above the mantle as the centerpiece of the living room.  When I saw this I knew one of two things.  One they were remarried or in the process of doing so.

So I knew that was it for me.  Nice lady and we are still friends but any hope beyond that is a fools errand. So what I decided I wanted next was booty, and I wanted it now.  Fortunately we have some clients out in Nevada and soon I was out there.

I went inside a brothel and pretty much struck out.  My game was that bad.  I couldn't even get action at a brothel.  The secret to getting to know the ladies, professional or otherwise, is to get to know the ladies. I have since gotten better.  More on that later.  As I was pretty much ready to walk out of the brothel having given up a lady chatted me up.  Eventually, we agreed on a price and she really knew how to do her job.  I needed a confidence boost and she gave it to me.

I still wasn't ready to re-enter the dating field yet.  So for a while I stuck with brothels.  Pretty much every brothel I went to I struck out.  The ladies were either not interested or the few who were charged to much.  I have since discovered it is actually cheaper to travel to another country where prostitution is legal and your money goes much further than it is to go to a Nevada brothel.

So I gave up the Nevada brothels and decided I need to get out of my comfort zone and force myself to interact.  As it stands right now about every two or three weeks of hard work results in a good prospect. If I were in better shape then my numbers would no doubt be better, however I have found that what works more than looks, money, cars, ect is confidence.  Have a attitude of confidence and the ladies will love you.

For me it isn't about sex.  If it was I would just travel outside the US every month or so.  What I am looking for is a feminine lady who knows how to care for her man.  Someone that I can be with and take pride in knowing that I have a true catch.

Forcing myself to approach has allowed me to get better.  Just like a muscle improves with use, so does your dating game.  There is nobody holding you back.  Don't allow your age, weight, finances, ect to keep you from finding someone.  For weight there are diets, for lack of money you can work harder or change jobs, for age you can use hair dye if you like.  All the things keeping you from dating are self imposed.

Since that time I have found the ability to break things off with women.  One woman flaked on her first date with me, when she called me the next day I informed her she would not get a second chance.  The old me would have been grateful for a woman regardless of how little she thought of my time.  One woman who had beautiful hair down to her waist decided to cut it off as soon as she started seeing me.  I saw the warning signs and told her it was over.  The old me would have stood blindly by her side even though she just did a drastic change which is a clear sign for danger ahead.

I have since learned that I am a good person and that I have the right to hold certain standards.  Likewise ladies have their own standards.  All people with options have standards.  Instead of accepting whatever lady I am lucky to get, I have set out with goals in mind and I know that being single is better than a bad relationship.